How long will therapy take?

 

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is an evidence-based approach with strong outcome results. Because there is so much research behind EFT, we know that the average length of treatment for couples is 12-20 weeks, and that most couples who receive EFT treatment continue to see improvements in their relationship even years after therapy has ended*. However, the duration of couples therapy depends on the individual couple and the concerns they bring to therapy. Couples presenting with deep relationship injuries (e.g., infidelity) or significant trauma (e.g., childhood abuse or neglect) will likely require longer-term support to rebuild trust and safety. 

 

*EFT outcome statistics are from the research of: Halchuk, Makinen, & Johnson, 2010; Johnson, 1999; Sexton et al., 2011; and Wiebe & Johnson, 2016.

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How often do we have to attend sessions?

 

I get that life is busy, things happen, and therapy can fall to the side, especially if you are juggling work, family, and other responsibilities. But I encourage couples to attend therapy on a weekly basis. It’s important that once started, we keep the momentum going. When long intervals occur between sessions, we can spend a lot of time playing catch-up rather than doing the real work. Therapy will be more effective if you can commit to weekly sessions. If you are in crisis, eager to dive in, or just feel like once a week isn’t intensive enough, you can choose to attend therapy more frequently.

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When is EFT contraindicated?

 

EFT has been studied for decades and shown to be successful with a variety of couples experiencing a range of problems. However, there are a few situations where EFT would not be appropriate. This includes cases of physical/emotional/sexual abuse, an active addiction, an ongoing affair, or any other situation in which emotional safety (the main goal of EFT) cannot be created. In such a case, I can offer a referral to an individual therapist. 

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How will we know when we are done couples therapy?

 

I know what a tremendous commitment couples therapy is - in time, money, and emotional energy. I get that you want to get to the finish line as fast as you can - I want to get you there quickly, too! To do that, we follow the 3 stages of EFT. The first stage is “De-escalation” and involves identifying your negative cycle and understanding the “moves” each of you makes in your cycle, and how these moves impact you and your relationship. Once de-escalated, you will feel better and fight less, and may start to feel like you don’t need couples therapy anymore - I call this the “honeymoon phase.” But research shows that the second phase of EFT, “Re-structuring the Bond” is actually where longer-term change happens. This is when you start having deeper conversations about your relationship fears, needs, and longings, and where partners learn how to reach for and receive one another. Studies show that the completion of stage 2 is why couples continue to see benefits in their relationship years after ending treatment. The final and shortest stage is “Consolidation.” This is where we celebrate all you have accomplished as a couple and create a new story of security and connection.

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Should I see an individual therapist too?

 

Partners often ask me if it would be helpful to pursue individual therapy at the same time they are engaged in couples therapy. For some people, supplementing couples therapy with individual work can really help them understand how certain cognitive, emotional, and behavioural patterns are being played out in their current relationship. If you do decide to pursue individual therapy, I encourage you to find someone who is trained in EFT for individuals (EFIT) to ensure this person understands attachment and works in a relationally-oriented way.

 

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Is couples therapy covered by insurance?

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Most insurance providers fully or partially reimburse your payments to a registered psychotherapist (RP). If you plan to submit a claim to your insurance provider, please confirm ahead of time with your provider that they will reimburse our work. The                                       now         (CRA) now recognizes visits to a Registered Psychotherapist (RP) as a tax-deductible medical expense in Ontario.  

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What if I can’t afford therapy?

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If you are facing circumstances that prohibit you from attending therapy, please let me know. I don’t want money to be the reason you are not getting the help and support your relationship needs. We can have a conversation and decide on a rate that both of us can feel good about. The rate you pay can be revisited at any point throughout our work together. 

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